My Heart Wears a Snow Parka
My heart center, the anahata chakra, wears a dark, navy blue snow parka. It a has a hood, ringed with white fuzz. In February I took a meditation class that focused on this chakra and how to bring awareness and light to this area. I first noticed the snow parka when I began to explore my heart with a more attention than I had before. It was completely zipped up to the top and the hood drawn close, kinda of like Kenny from South Park. My heart had just one eye warily peeking out from the hood.
One of the last lingering effects of being raised in a co-dependent environment was the fact that so much sadness and anger had been poured into my heart that it really couldn't take any more. The parka was protecting my heart from any more hurt, keeping sadness, insults and at times people at arms length away.
From my heart's perspective it was much easier to allow others to perceive me as stand-offish and difficult to approach rather than allow people in and let them see and know my truth.
After the meditation class and with my teacher's permission and guidance, I began practicing the heart center meditation daily. I imagine a small version of myself standing next to my parka-covered heart. I lead my heart through the meditation with kindness, patience, compassion and pure love.
At first the little me inside did the meditation and my heart simply observed, without participating, still warily watching with the one eye. Gradually, the hood opened up a little and I began to rest a hand on my heart, very gently. Over time, the little me still led the way through the process and my heart would follow along and receive the love that was being offered.
After maybe 6 or 8 weeks, my heart began to lead the way as I stood by, still there, holding hands with my heart. Being my own friend and companion. By this time my heart had mostly unzipped its protective layer, keeping the bottom still hooked together and the sleeves around its wrists - ready to zip up and cover up at any moment if hurt comes in.
Some days my heart would cover back up, not yet ready to feel so exposed and open. I understood. I was kind. I told my heart it was ok to feel that way. On those days I would rest my hand on my heart's shoulder and gently lead the meditation, allowing my heart to open and unfold at its own pace. This allowing of the slowness, the natural unfolding, was new for me. I released the need to control the process, to hurry it along at my pace, trying to make it perfect and better right now.
Because I have allowed my heart to open up at its own pace, it has unfolded in great proportions over the last few months. It still has the parka ready to go - just in case. On most days now it keeps the parka unzipped, allowing goodness and kindness to flow in and out - both my own and others.
I still practice the anahata chakra meditation a few days each week. My heart is still in the process of being open and I know it will take time for the parka to come completely off. I am wholely comfortable with that fact. I feel nothing but kindness and love for my heart and how it feels each day. I have all the time in the world for it to heal and open up as it is ready, in its own time and way.
My heart has a soft, pink glow to it now. New and tender, willing and eager to learn to allow love in and out.
If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy