Standing on the edge of a blank white screen, peering into empty spaciousness below.
Step or stay? Step? Or stay?
Deep breath, eyes closed, lean forward, a foot hovers into the unknown.
Caught standing, eyes open in relief to white pillars all around, rising from a red-orange glow.
What’s down there?
Is this the bottom?
The red-orange glow childhood’s hot lava, making each step a terrifying thrill ride to safety.
A game. It’s all a game. A smile blossoms.
Joyful leaps, wobbles combine screams with laughter.
Crash and burn, for tomorrow we rise to play again.
We’ve been taught, told and sold to be women who have it all. The perfect-for-us career, a beautiful home, loving spouse with his or her own fascinating career and life, incredible children, a great pet, fulfilling hobbies, and a thriving social life. I know many, many women who arrive at the have it all phase of life only to discover there’s something off, something not quite right, something not fulfilling or satisfying.
Some of us are discovering it’s too much and something has to give. The warning signs signal a need for a shift. I had a serious, range of motion limiting pain in my neck for two years. My husband and I owned two thriving, growing, exciting businesses and that pain in my neck was telling me something. It was too much, our family didn’t need two successful businesses. We gave one up and the pain in my neck faded away.
Other women I know tell similar stories, of insomnia, panic attacks, chronic stress or anxiety, an awareness they have it all yet something is missing. Many of these courageous women I know have left something behind, the house, the career, their relationship, the thing that was ultimately too much. In the absence of those things a spacious unknown opens up. Many of us approach this blank white screen with a sense of curiosity. What will happen in the space? Who will I become? Is this the more I’ve been searching for? How do I get there? What’s next?
A dear friend recently blogged about her own experience of opening up some new-found spaciousness in her life, which prompted the poem-thingy above. I know for sure two things go hand in hand, Faith and active steps forward. Even if each step forward is another step off the blank white page onto yet another isolated pillar, it is a step forward into creating a life we truly love, not the one we’ve been sold.
LOKAH SAMASTAH SUKINO BHAVANTU
May all beings be free and happy.
(Hint: you are a being, may you be free and happy)
If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please use the Like and Share buttons below. With Gratitude, Cathy